A Mother's Journey Blog

PART 3: “Dog Whisper” Given Me Insight On Helping Other Parents With ADD/ADHD Children

Since the Highers’ household is trying to be better Pack Leaders for our Maltese Fluffy, we all try to make time to watch Dog Whisper once a week together. This way it insures that we are all on the same page and that we are also handling this situation together as a family. What a great way for children to learn when they are put in a position to teach. It’s pretty awesome that Charlie is learning to put into action these three points. Dog Whisper is not only teaching Charlie how to be responsible for a pet but it’s going to help transform him into a leader that handles obstacles in life with a calm assertive state of mind. He’s learning patience and consistency because he is having to repeat himself many times everyday. The first law of learning is repetition. These ideas that go over and over again in his mind will become fixed one day or more commonly referred to as a habit. And a multiple of habits is called conditioning.

3. Caesar says, “You are the Source of the Problem.”

I know this is hard to swallow and I’m not trying to make you feel bad about yourself. But you must take responsibility for your past actions because it is you! Of course it’s not your fault that you or your child have ADD/ADHD. You did the best you could do at the time. You didn’t know any better. But in order to move forward you have to take responsibility or own up to your past actions. I remember the first time I sat and listen to Bob Proctor in his seminar. I felt like someone had hit me with a ton of bricks! I couldn’t believe how I was contributing to Charlie’s low self-esteem. I only wanted the best for him, I tried so hard to do what I thought would help him. Little did I know, I was only compounding the problem. You NEVER nurture insecurity! If you pity a child or an adult than you make them pitiful. If you punish with fear and anger you create aggression and retaliation. If you are raised with criticism where everything you did wrong was pointed out to you, chances are you will be very insecure. So do not feel bad when you realize that you contributed to the problem. A leader sees his/her mistakes and moves on. You must learn to live in the moment! You can not change the past and you do not own the future. People who live in the NOW make things happen. Let go of the past and quit worrying about the future. The only thing that can grow from your child or yourself is what you feed or what you give energy.

Children are like sponges, they absorb everything around them. Many times they do not know how to react to a situation so they feed off your reactions. Children’s mind are so easy to re-direct. They do not hold grudges and they live in the moment. Accept that your child or you having ADD/ADHD is a good thing. Nothing is good or bad unless you decide which it is. I have learned to embrace Charlie’s ADHD and it has made our entire family better because of this. There are no mistakes in life, only lessons. You learn more on those days that go horribly wrong than the days that go smoothly. It’s called trail and error. The only way to experience failure is to quit or to give up. Nothing really important happens over night. You have to work at it, I don’t care what it is! I chose to learn from our past mistakes and to let go of the guilt. Charlie currently makes all A’s and is medication free. He’s in advance honor classes. He is in the 9th grade and taking both Alegbra II and Geometry. He’s has friends again. His maturity level is starting to catch up to children his own age. He’s learning that calm assertiveness is the way to be in life. He’s the second fastest kid on his cross country team. He’s in the best physical shape of his life.  My husband change his occupation from being a real estate and mortgage broker to a Life Success Coach because of Charlie.We laugh all the time now! I have a website that helps other parents or adults with ADD/ADHD. I’m writing a book. I have met some of the most amazing people on this journey who I now call my friends. At the end of my day, I smile up at God and say, “I hope my website help someone today.” AND NONE of this would have happen to our family if we would have accepted being victims to Charlie’s ADHD.

Enthusiastically yours,

Shirley Highers


When the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it may be that they are taking better care of it.